Saturday, November 28, 2009

8 Essential Friends

1. A Childhood Friend
She can still remember the boy-crazy, artistic girl you were at 16.
These friends remind you that you are still the person you've always been.

2. A New Friend
Unlike members of your grade school crew, newly acquired pals have no preconceived notions about you.
New friends ignite different kinds of thinking and fresh ways of being." What's more, they'll connect you to another network of people.

3. A Workout Friend
She’ll drag you out for a jog on days when you’d rather be parked on the couch.
It's the best way to boost the get-healthy payoff of a workout partner because neither of you is poking and prodding the other, which is a recipe for resentment.

4. A Spiritual Friend
Being part of a spiritual community—not necessarily an organized religion—helps people stay resilient, research shows.
Volunteer in a canned food drive campaign, or attend a lecture series. Or try a neighborhood yoga center or community college; they often offer spiritually meaningful courses.

5. A Younger Friend
How did you juggle your full-time job and three kids? Your 10-years-younger friend really wants to know.
To maximize the benefits of this friendship, let advice flow in both directions. A younger confidante can explain the social networking site du jour or offer a fresh take on current events.

6. Your Partner’s Friends
Becoming tight with your husband’s pals is good for your marriage.
Including your spouse in your network of friends is nearly as important for marital happiness as making them feel they are a part of your family.

7. Your Mom
About 85% of adult women say they have a good relationship with their mother, according to a Pennsylvania State University study.
If you’d like to be closer but run into the same roadblocks over and over, here’s some advice to overcome the most common issues.
You find it hard to enjoy time with mom: Stop trying to change her, and focus on what you do enjoy, says Fingerman.
You keep clashing over the same old issues: The women who had the strongest relationships didn't take the conflicts personally. Instead, they tended to see criticism as a reflection of their mother's habits or traits.
The relationship feels too close for comfort: Daughters who did the best with this accepted that their mothers wanted more time together. Instead of telling their moms what they couldn't do, these daughters focused on when they could get together and what they could do for their mother

8. Yourself
If you’re like a lot of women, you’d drop everything to help a friend in need—but often don’t pay yourself the same respect.
Getting to know yourself is an amazing adventure.Think of what makes you fall in love with someone: how genuine, sincere, and caring they can be; the unconditional love they offer, no matter what. Doesn't that describe how you should feel about yourself?

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