Not all guys are obsessed with sex. Some of my friends and I would honestly rather have their football team win than get laid, are too lazy to deal with getting laid, or don't put so much stock into getting laid. But my friends and I are an abnormal lot.
I've come up with reasons to explain why many guys are sex-obsessed. Keep in mind I'm not defending being obsessed with sex. I'm just attempting to shed light on why a guy might be obsessed with sex to give you some peace of mind:
We Have To Be "Let In"
Sex physically resembles "VIP Access" because we have to be invited. We work for it, we convince, we campaign, strategize, and pull out all the stops. The woman controls all access. Men enjoy the challenge of obtaining this "invitation".
It Symbolizes Success To Guys
My friend enjoys insulting me by asking: "when's the last time you got laid?" I don't find it insulting when he asks me this- I'm just puzzled why he thinks getting laid makes someone so great. I just want to be called cute, or kiss a cute girl anyway. Guys insult guys who aren't getting laid, and praise guys who get it all the time. Now if my friend wants to call me out for not getting a kiss or not being called cute in eons, that's would hurt! Some guys think: "If I'm nice, she might have sex with me," instead of "If I'm nice, she might like me."
Our Heroes Do It
Men and women idolize talented people like musicians and sports heroes, or even geeks like Bill Gates. Part of the fantasy of being wildly successful and talented includes tons of women that fawn upon us. Promiscuous behavior among famous males is glorified in the press while the press chastises Miley Cyrus, for example, for wearing a skirt that's too short.
It Was a Big Deal Growing Up
At some point, the fun and games dissolved, and my manhood was measured on whether I had lost my virginity or not. It was incredibly intimidating when the older guys would ask me about my "prowess" with women, and how many times I had "bedded" a girl especially when the answers were: I have no prowess, and I have "bedded" ZERO girls. Young men do feel pressure from other/older guys to lose their virginity. We all grow out of these silly ideas, but the idea of being a "stud" is fostered among guys at an early age.
The Porn Factor
While porn helps satisfy urges, it also intensifies urges. And for women, unlike guys, porn is not a vital necessity like oxygen and water.
We Are Control Freaks
One of the most confusing entities in the world to men is...the woman. We don't understand why you need entire shelves in your closets just for bags and shoes. We don't understand why you are so happy one day, then angry the next. As humans, we seek order. Having sex with a girl symbolically, and temporarily, "solves" the mystery and adds a little order to the gender for us although, I'm sometimes more confused after sex.
We Are Always Thinking About It
Our eyes must have express direct wires to the "sex section" of our brains. We walk around town considering whether we'd have sex with women that pass by and what it would be like to do so. High heels or a sliver of cleavage can set us off. And, one question many guys ask before being introduced to a woman, regardless of the situation: "is she hot"?
We Like To Conquest
It is in our blood to conquest and some of us don't feel victorious with a kiss or a few dates. The "conquistadors" go for sex, and usually go for it with many women.
Whatever the reason for sex obsession, most of the issue boils down to security. People who need someone else prove that they are worth something are insecure. While it's a good idea to steer clear of men who are out to conquest or just out to get laid, it's also good to steer clear of insecure men. Men who need sex to vindicate themselves, feel in control, prove something to their buddies, etc, are obviously not dating material.
Do you agree with my reasons that I've listed, and what reasons would you add? Do you find that most men you meet are sex-obsessed, and how does this dictate your actions in dating?
Article by Rich Santos, Marie Claire