10 Stylish Ways to Wear a Ponytail

Boho Braid


A pretty plait adds an interesting twist to an otherwise casual low ponytail. It's also a stylish way to keep layers off your face without the use of bobby pins. To recreate Molly Sims’s look, start by curling dry hair using a wide-barrel iron, says celebrity hairstylist Cristophe, founder of the well-known salon Cristophe in Beverly Hills. Divide hair into a top and bottom section. Gather the bottom section at the nape of the neck and secure with an elastic band. Braid the front section from the right side of the forehead up and along the left side of your face, incorporating front pieces as you go. Continue braiding until you get to the ponytail. Wrap the rest of the braid around the elastic and tuck ends underneath. Photo: Kevin Mazur/Getty Images

Side Sweep


The simple elegance of Nicole Richie’s low ponytail and face-framing layers translates to a look that can easily go from day to night. Try it yourself by separating clean, damp hair into a side part and blowing drying it straight. Backcomb hair at the top of the head, then gather it, leaving some strands free in the front, just below the ear so hair falls over one shoulder; fasten with an elastic band, says stylist Taylor McFadden of Lotus Salon in New York City. Tightly wind a 1-inch section of hair from the ponytail around the band, tucking ends underneath. Use a 1 1/2-inch-barrel curling iron to create subtle waves in the ponytail and lightly brush so they look natural. Set with a flexible hold hairspray. Photo: Patrick Riviere/Getty Images

Bombshell Bump


Keira Knightley’s undone updo oozes sexiness thanks to its height at the crown. Luckily, whether you have thick or fine hair, you can easily replicate the look because the "bump" is created by teasing your hair. To achieve the hairstyle, use a wide-barrel curling iron on your entire head of hair to create all-over waves, says Christophe. Part hair in the middle, leaving the front strands loose. Slightly tease hair at the top of the head. Collect tresses into a ponytail in the middle of the head and fasten with an elastic band. Lightly curl front pieces to give them a slight bend. Photo: John Shearer/Getty Images

Mod Nod



Reese Witherspoon’s glamorous look takes its cue from the 1960s and is a playful take on the sometimes stuffy updo—the go-to hairstyle for elegant soirees. Begin by applying a smoothing serum to clean, damp hair and blow drying strands using a large round brush. Once dry, separate hair into a top and bottom section, says Christophe. Gather the bottom section into a ponytail just under the middle of your head and secure with an elastic band. Tease the top section to give it as much height as possible. Smooth top strands gently with a brush. Sweep remaining hair into a high ponytail at the crown so that it covers the bottom ponytail. Secure with a clear elastic band. Using a 1 ½-inch-barrel curling iron, bend the ends of the bottom ponytail into a slight flip. This will give the illusion of one giant ponytail. Finish with a spritz of sheer hold hairspray. Photo: Jeff Vespa/Getty Images

All About Texture


Kate Beckinsale’s tousled ponytail is a great option for women with wavy or curly hair, says Alli Webb, cofounder of Drybar, an "anti-salon" that only offers blowouts. Leave several strands of hair out around the front of your face and pull the rest back into a high ponytail at the top of your head. Fasten with an elastic band. Wrap a 1-inch section of hair around the elastic band, tucking ends underneath. Backcomb the front pieces and loosely pull them back to create lift. Use a flat boar bristle brush to help smooth out any bumps on top. Secure pieces with bobby pins. Photo: Jon Kopaloff/Getty Images

Soft & Romantic


The effortless look of Demi Moore’s pretty ponytail is achieved by gingerly gathering locks, says Christophe. Because there's a relaxed elegance to this hairstyle, it can be dressed up or down depending on the occasion. To try it at home, first create waves from root to tip using a wide-barrel curling iron on dry hair. Loosely pull hair into a ponytail just above the nape of the neck. Secure with an elastic band. Leave the top relaxed and undone with a few wispy pieces for a more windswept feel. Photo: Jason Kempin/Getty Images

Sleek & Chic


Lauren Conrad’s polished ponytail is simple and sophisticated, says Webb. It's also a look that almost anyone can achieve as long as they have the right styling tools at home. Start by applying smoothing oil to clean, damp hair and blowing it dry. Use a flat iron on your entire head of hair so it’s stick straight. Create a deep side part and brush hair into a tight ponytail, securing with an elastic band at the nape of the neck. Take a 1-inch section of hair from the ponytail and wrap it tightly around the elastic band, tucking ends underneath. Photo: Charley Gallay/Getty Images

Short & Sassy


Even short-haired women can wear a stylish ponytail—case in point: Hayden Panettiere. Since Hayden doesn’t have much hair to pull back, her look is more about texturizing the front, says McFadden. Mist a texturizing spray on clean, damp hair and blow dry. Pull hair back in a ponytail, allowing any strands that won't reach to fall. Spray a finishing product on the strands of hair that aren't part of the ponytail for flexible hold once you pin them back. Loosely pull and twist small sections of hair from the front, one at a time, and fasten with bobby pins. Front and sides should look pulled together yet piecey. Photo: Jason Merritt/Getty Images

Beachy Keen

Wavy-hair women like Whitney Port can wear a beach-inspired ponytail all year long by using a sea-salt spray, says Webb. Apply product on dry hair and then style. Part your hair in the middle and then take 1-inch sections on either side of your face and twist until you get to the back of your head. Gather all hair into a low, messy ponytail. Photo: Charles Eshelman/Getty Images

Curly Cascade


When your locks are as long and lush as Christina Milian’s, you’ll want them to be front and center. Start by applying a strong-hold gel to clean, wet hair and diffuse or blow dry. Break up tight coils by brushing them with a natural-bristle brush to create voluminous, undulating waves, says McFadden. Divide hair into a deep side part and tightly gather hair off to one side. Secure with an elastic band just behind the ear and drape ponytail over one shoulder. Photo: Jon Kopaloff/Getty Images

Divorce Etiquette 101

Learn how to gracefully navigate the end of a close friend's or family member's marriage

A good friend just told you that she's getting a divorce and you don't know the right way to respond.

The best thing you can say in this situation is simply, “I’m here for you.” In a way, supporting a divorcing friend is not unlike supporting a grieving friend, because divorce—even if she wanted it, even if it’s relatively amicable—evokes similar feelings of loss. “She needs your support and friendship more than anything else,” says Swann. The easiest way to provide support is to take your cues from her: If she wants to just spend time with you without talking about her ex, do that. If she needs a few late-night sessions to vent and work through her grief, be there for her. If she just wants a little company, offer to take her along on your morning walks or to the gym; come by with coffee (or a bottle of wine!) if she can’t get a sitter. Don’t forget she may need practical help, too: Offer to drive her kids places or ask your husband to help out with chores like mowing the lawn or getting the oil changed in her car, suggests Swann.

Your sister is getting a divorce, but you think she's making a mistake.

In truth, you don’t know—and never will know—if her divorce is truly a mistake because none of us really understands what goes on behind closed doors. Even if you are aware that she had an affair, for example, you still don’t know what caused her to stray. Keep in mind, too, that just because the news comes as a shock to you, the same might not apply for her; she may have been thinking about it, and discussing it with her spouse, for years before the announcement. One thing that is certain: Berating her for making a mistake won’t help, says Swann. However, you might want to ask if she's tried couple's counseling, says Darlene Lancer, JD, MFT, a former attorney who's now a licensed marriage and family therapist and the author of the forthcoming Codependency for Dummies. “Even if they don’t ultimately reconcile, counseling can help the couple work through their divorce.” The bottom line: “Steer clear of offering advice that’s not asked for. Stick to support,” says Lancer.

The couple you and your husband always go on double dates with is now divorcing and you two don't know whose side you should be on.

Presuming that the four of you are all friends, try your best not to choose sides or leave either of them out in the cold. “Divorcing spouses often find they lose friends and are excluded from events they normally attended, which is a shame,” says Swann. Remember, it’s not your job as a friend to take sides as much as it is to support and be there for her and him. If the female half of the couple is asking you to drop her ex from your friend list, tell her—as kindly as you can—that you’re there to be her friend, but you’re not actually angry with her ex, says Lancer. By the same token, be sensitive to both of their feelings by not telling either of them about the time you may have spent with the other person and ensure both of them that anything discussed when you are with them will always be confidential.

Your brother is getting a divorce but you've grown close to your former sister-in-law and want to remain friends with her.

There's no reason why you can’t stay pals with a friend's or family member's ex, but the social etiquette can get thorny. Whereas before, you'd hang out with your sister-in-law at family functions, now it's better to plan a girls' night out for just the two of you—away from your brother and other family members. Swann also notes that you'll likely have to alternate invitations while the divorce is still a sensitive subject, by having your brother and the kids over for a big family BBQ one weekend and then asking his ex to come over with the kids for a play date the following weekend, for example. If your brother is upset that you are still friendly his ex, be respectful of his feelings. “You can say, ‘I’m sorry you feel that way, but I still enjoy spending time with Jane. I hope you understand,’” suggests Swann. If he's adamant about you breaking it off, you may have to decide if the friendship is worth risking your relationship with your brother, adds Lancer.

Your best friend has become sensitive about the topic of money post-divorce; instead of discussing the subject, she avoids making plans with you.

You may find that your friend is in tighter financial straits immediately after her divorce, particularly if she was a stay-at-home mom during the marriage, or has had to move because she could no longer afford the mortgage. This sudden change in lifestyle may make her retreat a bit more from her social life. If she declines to go out, try to be sensitive to her situation and generous when you can, says Swann. Dream up different things to do together that don’t involve spending cash, such as nature walks, free concerts and dinners at home. If there are group outings that you know she would love to go to—like dinner with a group of your girlfriends—“offer to pick up the tab now and then,” says Swann. “You don’t want her to feel isolated right now.”

Family friends are getting a divorce and all the kids involved have a lot of questions about it.

If your families have always been close, you may find yourself in the position of being your friends’ kids’ confidant. “Their children may talk to you before they talk to their own parents,” notes Swann. Reassure them that their parents still love them, and that the divorce is absolutely, positively not their fault (often a child’s biggest fear or suspicion). But resist trying to answer specific questions about “what happened.” The truth is that you don’t know the details. Your own kids may also be full of questions, such as why their friends’ dad (or mom) isn’t living at their house anymore or whether you’re on the road to divorce, too. Answer their specific questions as they arise (“Yes, Jen and Joe's dad lives in a different place now, but he still loves them very much”) without trying to over explain. Saying something like, “Sometimes, families have problems that mean the mom and dad can’t live together anymore, but it has nothing to do with how much they want their kids to be happy and loved” goes a long way, says Lancer.

A divorce amongst your circle of friends is leading to a lot of ugly gossip about the separating couple.

Do your best to not go there. Whether your husband wants to share the "ex's side," your friend is prodding you for dirt on her ex or a mutual friend wants to dish about everyone involved, firmly opt out, says Lancer. It’s just never a good idea to indulge in negative divorce gossip, for everyone involved (particularly the couple’s children). Say to people other than your friend that you’d rather not be caught in the crossfire of any gossip for fear it’ll come back to you (He said that you said…). While it's natural that your friend will want to talk about her divorce, because you care about her and are concerned about her emotional wellbeing, avoid the urge to tell her the latest rumors about her ex or trash talk him. “Say to her, 'I don’t think talking to you about Frank is good for you, and it’s not good for our friendship, which I value,’ and change the subject," says Lancer. If you truly can’t resist telling someone or feel you need to relieve the pressure of knowing too much, share your news with a disinterested third party so no one gets hurt.

Your recently divorced friend is dating again—and you think it's a terrible idea.

Hold your tongue, at least at first, even if you think it’s too soon or that she’s making a mistake—because who’s to say if it is a mistake? Not you! Swann notes that sometimes newly divorced people like to feel desirable again and getting back into the dating pool is the easiest way to do this. She may just be testing the waters, flexing her dating muscles or looking to have a bit of fun. Even if you’re convinced she’s making a mistake (by dating someone who is totally inappropriate, for example), “She’s not going to listen to you, anyway,” says Lancer. Instead of (fruitlessly) trying to dissuade her from dating, be supportive and positive. “Emphasize how dating in this period of her life is, or should be, a way to learn more about herself and what she eventually wants from a new relationship,” says Lancer.

You have big relationship news but aren't sure if you should share it with a friend who's going through a divorce.

As long as you’re not rubbing your good news in her face—for example, calling her every day with updates on your wedding plans—a good friend will want to know what’s going on with you. Even if she can’t be a cheerleader for love and romance, she will at least be happy for you. Plus, she may feel isolated or left out if she discovers you’ve hidden something from her. With news like an engagement, approach the friend sensitively and don’t feel slighted if her reaction is muted. Be upfront, suggests Swann: “Say, ‘I know this may be hard for you, and I’d be so happy if you’d come to my bridal shower, but I understand if it isn’t something you feel up to right now.’” That gives her the option of congratulating you one-on-one without having to share in the public celebration.

Read more at:www.womansday.com

Easy Ways to Add 20 Years to Your Life

Add 2.2 years: Walk 30 minutes a day


This is crucial to keeping your weight steady and lowering your risk of heart disease and diabetes, but fitting in a solid half-hour can be tricky. Just as good (and easier) is weaving in that 30 minutes throughout your day; wearing a pedometer can help you stay on track. Research from the Stanford University School of Medicine shows that people who wear one take an extra 2,000 steps (about 1 mile) a day. “Having that pedometer makes you honest with yourself, so you really know how much you’re moving,” adds Dr. Roizen

Add 5.6 years: Get up and move!


Just as important as getting in that 30 minutes of walking is making your overall daily life more active. Getting a full 100 minutes of movement a day is what gives you the biggest health benefits. An easy way to do that: Get up and move any time you’re usually sedentary—during TV commercials, for example. The average commercial break lasts for 2 to 3 minutes—plenty of time for you to work in a few mini moves like squats, jumping jacks or biceps curls (keep a set of free weights under your couch), or even just a few quick laps around the den.

Research shows that people who do the most sitting have an increased risk of heart disease. This is because sitting for long periods of time allows fat to continue circulating in your bloodstream longer, which in turn slows the ability of HDL (the “good” cholesterol) to clear plaque from your arteries.

Add 3 years: Go to bed 15 minutes earlier


This will help you get an extra 7.5 hours of shut-eye over the course of a month. “Sleep is profoundly important,” says David Katz, MD, director of the Prevention Research Center at the Yale University School of Medicine. “It’s when every organ and system in your body repairs, restores and resets itself. Not getting enough sleep compromises how well your entire body functions.” Although everyone’s sleep needs are different, experts say that regularly getting less than 7 hours per night is what starts to have a negative impact.

Add 1.8 years: Do some strength training


Getting your heart pumping is important, but since strength training (lifting weights, exercising with resistance bands) builds muscle, it boosts your metabolism long-term, helping to protect against diabetes and heart disease. Weight-bearing activities also strengthen your bones, which lowers your osteoporosis risk. One study even found that after six months of twice-weekly, hour-long strength workouts, healthy older men and women (average age 70) were able to reverse signs of aging in their cells to levels similar to those seen in adults in their 20s and 30s. But you don’t have to do that much exercise to get the health benefits. Aim for a 20-minute session twice a week.

Add 3-5 years: Floss daily


A healthy smile can also lead to a healthy heart. Numerous studies show that periodontal and cardiovascular disease are linked. Ideally, you should floss in the morning and at night—but even doing it just once a day will improve your health.

Add 14 years: Eat healthy


“Food has a very big impact on the genes that accelerate or slow down the aging process,” says Dr. Roizen. So exactly what does eating healthy mean?

Choose “good” fats. Snacks like nuts are better than ones that contain saturated fats, like butter and full-fat cheese. One study showed that eating nuts daily (any kind) lowers total cholesterol levels by more than 5% and LDL (“bad”) cholesterol by nearly 7.5%.

Eat at least five servings of fruits and vegetables daily—and aim for variety. “When you eat many different fruits and vegetables, you get thousands of different disease-fighting nutrients,” says Dr. Katz. One study found that people who regularly eat a variety of veggies lowered their risk of lung cancer by 23%.

Eat fish twice a week. Research shows that the omega-3 fats found in fish like salmon are among the biggest health boosters, helping to fight heart disease, stroke, hypertension, depression, and even Alzheimer’s disease and osteoporosis, says Diane McKay, PhD, a researcher with the Jean Mayer USDA Human Nutrition Research Center on Aging at Tufts University. On the flip side, research involving more than a half-million people found that those who ate the most red or processed meat had a much higher risk of cardiovascular disease and dying from cancer than those who ate the least.

Go for fiber-rich whole grains. Spooning up a high-fiber breakfast cereal instead of a more refined, sugary one cuts your risk of heart disease and diabetes by nearly 30%.

Add 8 years: Have more sex with your partner

Being in a satisfying relationship is good for your heart and soul. Women in a healthy monogamous relationship are significantly healthier compared with those who are either unhappy or sexually inactive, says Dr. Roizen.

Add 2 years: Don’t text and drive

Studies show that texting while driving increases your risk of being in a serious accident sixfold—possibly making it more dangerous than driving drunk.

Add 4 years: Manage stress


Of course you can’t control when an overloaded work schedule and family obligations might hit, but how you handle stress ultimately has the biggest impact on your health. “A highly stressed 50-year-old’s ‘real age’ could be as high as 82,” says Dr. Roizen. When you’re constantly tense, your blood pressure, heart rate and levels of the stress hormone cortisol are all raised, which increases your risk for heart disease, stroke, Alzheimer’s disease and more. Exercise can help a lot: Just 15 minutes of brisk walking increases your body’s production of feel-good chemicals, like endorphins. Other stress-busting tips:

Start your day with 15 minutes of belly breathing. This will help relax your mind and muscles and help you power through stress that crops up during the rest of your day, says Woodson Merrell, MD, chair of the department of Integrative Medicine at Beth Israel Medical Center. “The morning is actually when our bodies feel the most stressed, because it’s when we’re transitioning from inactivity to activity and producing the highest levels of cortisol,” he notes. Here’s what to do: Sit tall at the edge of your bed or in a chair. Breathe in for a count of four, pause a moment, then breathe out for a count of six. Think of a peaceful image, like sitting by the sea, or repeat a simple word like calm.

Meet a friend face-to-face. “Being involved with friends or in a community is as powerful as exercise in terms of preventing heart disease and dementia,” says Henry Lodge, MD, coauthor of Younger Next Year for Women. Pencil in some friend time at least three times a week, or every day if possible.

Chew gum. A British study of more than 2,000 workers found that people who regularly chewed gum had significantly less work-related and overall stress and depression than those who didn’t get this oral fix. Chewing gum may stimulate the vagus nerve, which helps your body relax and increases levels of serotonin, a brain chemical that makes us feel calmer and happier.

Add 6-12 years: Stop smoking


It’s one of the worst habits, but your health improves almost immediately after you quit. Just 20 minutes after you stop smoking, your heart rate and blood pressure drop; two weeks to three months after quitting, your circulation and lung function improve; two years later, your heart disease and lung cancer risk are cut in half; 15 years later, your risk of heart disease is that of a nonsmoker’s. What more motivation do you need?

Read more:http://www.womansday.com/

It's face-off in the fight for RM10K and you have a part to play in it! #NescafeChilllah

It's face-off in the fight for RM10K and you have a part to play in it! #NescafeChilllah

Pump Up Your Beauty Routine

Add these tweaks (including exercises!) to your beauty routine for volumized hair, stronger nails, longer lashes and firmer skin.

The Hair Volumizer

"Hair that has movement and doesn't fall flat doesn't just look sexy," says Rodney Cutler, owner of Cutler/Redken salon in New York City. "It makes you look younger, too, because it creates the illusion of high cheekbones and eyes that are awake." When hair is damp, flip your head upside down, spray a texturizer on palms, and rake fingers through roots, lifting hair away from your scalp as you blow-dry. When only your roots are dry, flip upright and you'll see instant volume. Then, as you dry the rest of your hair, stretch out strands with a nylon-bristle brush—follow through from root to tip, flicking ends upward to add subtle curve. (Yes, your biceps will be burning by the time you're done.)

Extra tip: Like isolating muscles during strength training, blow-drying small sections of hair lets you extend strands more efficiently.

Cheek Lifter



You sculpt sexy arms with strength training. To define your features, try flexing your facial muscles, says Carole Maggio, an aesthetician and author of Ultimate Facercise. Over time, frowning, smiling, squinting and other exaggerated expressions can cause wrinkles, but by exercising muscles perpendicular to specific lines, these moves may soften creases temporarily, says Macrene Alexiades-Armenakas, Ph.D., a dermatologist in NYC. Do this move and the Eye Energizer, two skin-smoothing maneuvers that Maggio created, twice a day.

Make a long, narrow O with your mouth, pulling lips inward. Jut your neck forward, and push your shoulders back. Place index fingers on top of cheeks (nails facing your nose). Next, press lips firmly against teeth and smile with your upper lip only so cheek muscles lift. (It may feel awkward for a few tries, but you'll get the hang of it.) Do 20 reps.

Muscles worked: The buccinators, which form the rounded part of cheeks, and the orbicularis oris, circular muscles around the mouth. Toning cheek muscles makes them more defined and elevates the hollows under eyes, Maggio says.

Allover Skin Smoother


Surprise! Your favorite workout can help your skin, too. "Exercise gets blood pumping to your tissues, and as a result, skin takes up nutrients, removes waste faster and repairs itself more efficiently," says Nicholas Perricone, M.D., a dermatologist in NYC. "It also triggers production of growth hormones that help skin stay firm." Dr. Perricone suggests fitting in 30 to 45 minutes of cardio or resistance training five days a week.

Eye Energizer



Sit up straight, and push your chin forward and shoulders back, elongating your neck. Bending your index fingers, press both knuckles together, automatically forming a heart shape with your hands. Put index fingers between your brows, letting fingertips rest on the bridge of your nose. Curve thumbs in a C shape around the outer corners of both eyes as if you were creating a pair of glasses with your fingers. Squeeze eyes tightly shut, then pull your index fingers slightly upward between brows and thumbs, back toward ears (but keep both fingers gliding along skin). Squeeze eyes even tighter. Hold this position; breathe normally; count to 40. Repeat.

Muscles worked: The orbicularis oculi, the muscles that surround the eyes and make it possible for you to open and close them. As with all physical exercise, engaging muscles sends circulation soaring. The rush of blood in this fatigue-prone zone helps lessen inflammation—and with it, undereye puffiness, Maggio explains.

Lash Stretch



Get heated: First, blast your eyelash curler with hot air from your blow-dryer for a few seconds. (Test its temp on your wrist before you curl.) "The heat helps alter your lashes' shape from stick-straight to curved," says Kevin Mendelson, international educator for Jane Iredale-The Skincare Makeup.

Create definition: Next, place one side of a business card against your eyelid, letting the edge rest near your lash line. "This allows you to push lashes up and out, making it easier to coat their entire length," Mendelson says.

Keep moving: Now pick up your mascara wand and, starting at the root, wiggle it back and forth while pulling it to the tip of lashes, suggests Carol Shaw, a celebrity makeup artist in Los Angeles and founder of Lorac Cosmetics. Apply a second coat before the first dries. With some formulas, if you wait too long between coats, the layers dry separately and could cause flaking during the day.

Body Builder



Ever wonder why eyelashes are so short and the hair on your head is so long? The time it takes for lashes to grow, stop and finally fall out is only about a month—the same cycle for hair lasts about a year, Dr. Perricone says. Stimulate a growth spurt by applying an OTC lash-enhancing serum to clean lashes before you hit the sheets; doing this extends their growth cycle (translation: longer lashes). Try Priori Lash Recovery Serum, $99, which has a peptide trio, conditioning glycerin, and aloe and chamomile extracts. The protective coating also keeps lashes glossy and flexible, so they're less likely to fall out prematurely. Unless you're gentle, day after day of wiping eye makeup off can dry out lashes, making them susceptible to breakage. You wouldn't shampoo your hair without conditioning it, so why treat your lashes differently?

Manicure Maximizer



Watch your form: The oval shape is hands down the best way to get a mani with marathon endurance. "There aren't any rigid corners like with a square nail that can smack against stuff, keeping nails healthier and polish on for longer," says Dennis Gross, M.D., a dermatologist in NYC.

Get buff: Filing in a back-and-forth motion is a tempting shortcut—the girly push-up of nail maintenance. The problem is, you'll end up with rough edges, making nails prone to chips, says Susan Nam, owner of Polished Beauty Bar in NYC, who tends the nails of Charlize Theron and Leighton Meester. Put in the extra effort: Use a file with medium grittiness, and move in one direction—left to right—and repeat.

Nail Strengthener



The more your hands are engaged—even typing a gazillion emails counts—the faster nails grow. "Movement increases blood flow to muscle and tissues in that area," Dr. Gross explains. The downside? Utilizing nails as tools can cause them to break. Enhance their natural growth factor with a strengthening treatment laced with proteins or keratin instead of a regular base coat. Repeat every other day.

Read more:http://www.self.com/

Men Who Cheat: Why Smart Men Do Such Sleazy Things

We examine some of the surprising reasons why men cheat



No. 1: Why Some Politicos Can't Keep It in Their Pants
It's been said that Washington, D.C., is Hollywood for nerds. After all, it's usually not the hot jock who goes into politics. It's the yearbook editor, the debate-team champ, the class president, the guy who likely exited high school with his virginity intact.

"Here's a guy who was always shoved into lockers, and suddenly now he's in power, and power is status," says Debra Lieberman, an evolutionary psychologist at the University of Miami. Once a guy like this gets a taste of the aphrodisiacal powers of that status, the temptation grows.

"Politicians have become like rock stars," observes Michael Kimmel, a sociologist at the State University of New York at Stony Brook and author of Guyland. "They have groupies. They're celebrities. And celebrity makes people seem very sexy. So it's really the revenge of the nerds."

As Kimmel sees it, the crucial piece is this: "When you have power, you feel like you deserve to be listened to, you deserve to have people fawning over you. And I think that propels a lot of guys to suddenly feel they can walk into a room and get any woman they want. There's an enormous sense of entitlement."

Of course, there's also a fine line between ego and insecurity—and, Kimmel surmises, those conflicting feelings are more common in politicians than in, say, rock stars. That combination, where you feel both undeserving and entitled, can fuel bad behavior.
No. 2: Men Are Better at Living Dual Lives
Why, then, don't female politicians fall prey to such icky inclinations? We haven't heard that Hillary Clinton or any of our 17 female senators or 76 female U.S. representatives hired male hookers, tweeted racy photos, or did other reckless stuff. "These women are not narcissists," says Judith Orloff, M.D., an assistant clinical professor of psychiatry at UCLA and author of Emotional Freedom. "They may have narcissistic traits, but they also have empathy, which true narcissists don't have." Another theory? "Women generally don't need to remedy having been a nerd by eroticizing their power," says Kimmel. "Men in power often experience sex as a way to self-demonstrate their worthiness. Women don't do that. They don't tend to separate love and sex. It has to do with which parts of our identities we're willing to compartmentalize."

In our industrial society, men have been taught to separate work from home. But their brains are also a factor. "Information from the left brain to the right brain travels better in women than in men," explains Vicky Luine, Ph.D., a neuroendocrinologist in New York. "So maybe men can keep the right [intuitive] and left [analytical] functions separated more easily." They may be hardwired to compartmentalize areas of their lives more effectively (and with less guilt).

No. 3: Testosterone is Like Crack to a Narcissist
In a way, men really do think with their penises. "A man gets a testosterone boost every time he succeeds in something," says Orloff. That is, he gets a shot of the same chemical that jacks up his libido. "So it's because of an 'addiction' to testosterone that men keep going for more and more success." Meaning, when they succeed at something, they get a rush that says, "I'm powerful! And so is my penis!"—which can send them looking for other, more tawdry avenues to success. "Women don't have that correlation so much in their brains. They're more into accomplishment. There's less of a sexual connection," says Orloff. Luine agrees: "Testosterone contributes to a lot of the things men do in terms of seeking sex and aggression. Females, of course, have far less."

In addition to testosterone, a man's prefrontal cortex comes into play (or should)."That's the part of the brain that causes other brain areas to be restrained," says Luine.

"The prefrontal cortex is really trying to get rid of that thrill-seeking behavior—all the negative things that can lead to trouble."

Unfortunately, it's one of the last parts of the brain to mature. And because males develop later than females do, their prefrontal cortex develops later as well. Which, according to Luine, accounts for a lot of impulsive behavior in teenage boys.

But shouldn't a mature guy's prefrontal cortex be fully developed? "It should be," says Luine, "but in some men it doesn't seem to be. There's no definitive reason why—it could be a physiological problem, like low glucose or blood flow, or an environmental issue, such as a toxin or a blow to the head. And while the same things could influence female brains, it seems that males are more often affected."

From an evolutionary point of view, says Lieberman, "being at the top does change very much how men behave and act—perhaps in ways that make it seem as if their behavior can go unchecked. But in the modern world, there are checks."Like a legal system. And the media. And wives.

No. 4: They Pull the Pin on Their Own Pressure Grenade
Then there's the impact of stress. "Stress can act on the prefrontal cortex to impair function," says Luine, "much like chronic tension impairs learning and memory. So maybe these guys are under so much stress that their prefrontal cortex is shutting down from secretions of cortisol, the stress hormone." And it is true, she adds, that women handle chronic nuttiness better than guys do, because estrogen helps alleviate the effects of cortisol even under crazed conditions; it helps keep the phone lines in the brain humming. "Also," says Orloff, "women have oxytocin, the hormone that helps women bond and find solace in connection. Men don't really have much of that hormone either." So when it comes to a stressful situation—because surely one can argue that Hillary Clinton, for example, has a lot more stress than Anthony Weiner ever did—there's a function in the brain that allows a woman to handle it in a less destructive way.

Another disadvantage some men seem to have: They don't know when to say uncle. The pressure on them grows and grows, and rather than find some way to deal with it, says Orloff, they sabotage their careers. "It's an unconscious motivation," she adds. This kind of self-destruction can take many forms, whether it's stealing from the company's bankroll or coming to the job reeking of beer-for-breakfast. For many politicos, though, the implosion is specifically sex-centric. Explains Orloff: "Ego-driven men tend to go out with a massive explosion. In their minds, sex makes them a big man with power. They don't want to be caught stealing or coming to work drunk. It would be demoralizing and doesn't fit with their image."

In other words, being busted in a sex scandal is the preferable escape hatch from boiling-point stress.

Smart Wives, Stupid Husbands
Why would guys with such fabulous, accomplished wives cheat down? "The narcissistic part of them wants a dependent woman who idolizes them," says UCLA's Judith Orloff, M.D.

So if you're a strong, successful woman who's involved with a strong, successful guy, how can you relate to each other in a mutually beneficial way? You want to be able to be your wonderful, powerful self--but knowing that an insecure man might be tempted to go bimbo hunting, it's in your best interest to avoid having competition overrun the relationship.

"Research shows that relationships improve when we can share our successes with our partner," says W. Keith Campbell, Ph.D., author of When You Love a Man Who Loves Himself.

"So when you have a great day at work, the person you want to share it with is your partner. When you maintain a close relationship, your success feels like his success—and vice versa."

Read more:http://www.womenshealthmag.com/

Spooky Or Silly? 6 Food Superstitions

Halloween and all of its superstitions are upon us. And while I don’t believe in them per se, I do believe in food and fun. Check out these popular food superstitions:

Breaking a Wishbone
Who hasn’t let the wishbone from Thanksgiving dinner dry over night so they could challenge their sibling to tug-of-war the next day? If you wind up with the longer piece, you get to make a wish—and rub it in to your brother.

Throwing Salt Over Your Shoulder
I think the floor on the set of Rachael Ray’s show must be littered with salt. But she has the superstition slightly wrong: It’s believed that if you spill salt—which is bad luck—you should toss more over your left shoulder to ward off the evil spirits your spill stirred up. You don't need to throw salt willy-nilly if you haven't spilled your salt.

Tossing Rice at a Wedding
Rice, an ancient symbol of fertility and of prosperity, has been thrown for centuries to wish newlyweds well as they leave the church. And don’t worry about exploding sparrows—turns out, many bird species include the grain in their diets.

Eating Black-Eyed Peas on New Year’s Day
This tradition is big in southeastern states. The legumes are thought to bring good luck, and some people eat them with collard, mustard, or turnip greens in the belief that the food will bring them some green—in the form of money—the rest of the year.

Not Cutting Long Noodles
In China, long noodles symbolize a long life, and cutting one is seen as cutting your life short. Miss Manners may not approve, but if poor table etiquette means a few extra years, by all means slurp up your lo mein.

Read more :http://www.womenshealthmag.com/nutrition/food-superstition

9 Healthy Snacks for Dieters

Kashi Chewy Granola Bars
These are the chewiest bars going (don't confuse them with other types of Kashi bars — look for "chewy" on the label). They have 130 to 140 calories each, 4 grams of fiber, 5 g of protein, and they're made with real nuts and whole grains. And they actually taste good.

"You've got chewy, you've got sweet, and you've got a bar," Gidus says. "That's got a real snacky feel to it. The calorie range is right, and the fiber is high."

Frozen Peas and Corn


Ditching the celery sticks doesn't mean abandoning the whole food group. Frozen vegetables often taste better because they're not turning into starch, like their produce-aisle counterparts. Freezing vegetables seals in their naturally sweet flavor.

Half of a cup of peas has 55 calories and 3 g of fiber; the same amount of corn contains 72 calories with 2 g of fiber. The high-fiber and low-calorie-density combination means they're filling and satisfying, and the frozen part makes them interesting. They're firm, but not rock hard, and they melt in your mouth.

"You can use the same trick with fruit," Gidus says. "Freeze grapes or cherries, and it's a whole different experience."

Total Yogurt


Skip the usual fruit-on-the-bottom suspects — high in sugar, ho-hum in texture. Try Fage Total Greek Yogurt instead. This imported greek yogurt is strained, which makes it fluffy. It'll fool you into thinking it's fat-filled, but the "0%" on its label tells you how much fat it really contains.
The 80 calories per serving give you room to maneuver, so sweeten the pot with chopped apricots or dates. "There's evidence that dairy calcium helps you lose weight, and this also adds protein and fiber," Gidus says.

Easy Oatmeal

If you think the microwave's only contribution to snack time is popcorn, you have to try Quaker Express Oatmeal. Office-friendly, it's packaged in an individual cup. Just add water and microwave for about a minute, and you're set to snack.

"Studies have found that oatmeal is more filling than dry cereal with the same calories and fiber content," Gidus says. The Baked Apple flavor has a slight fiber edge (1 g) over the other flavors. Best of all, it won't stink up the office.

Dressed-Up Apples


A 2003 Brazilian study found that three apples a day can keep weight gain at bay — and can even help you lose. "There's no magic compound," according to Rui Hai Liu, Ph.D., an apple researcher at Cornell University.

"The best way to lose weight is to increase consumption of fruits and vegetables. That increases volume and decreases calorie density." If you've got 5 minutes and a knife, cut your apple up and mix it with some chopped walnuts and a teaspoon or two of maple syrup. Or eat it with a tablespoon of peanut butter to add about 100 calories' worth of the satiating power of nuts.

Licorice


We're not done chewing yet. Licorice, which has an active ingredient called glycyrrhetinic acid, has been shown to help reduce body fat mass. (The good news is you don't have to be able to pronounce the acid to reap its benefits.)

Decio Armanini, M.D., who did the research at Italy's University of Padua, explains that there are two ways licorice works. The first is complicated and involves blocking an enzyme that plays a role in fat accumulation. The second is simpler. "Licorice can reduce appetite," he says. "The effect is probably related to the agreeable taste of licorice, and for that reason people do not need to eat more."

We're not talking Twizzlers here; go for the real thing, preferably with licorice extract high on its ingredient list. (Look for it in grocery stores, not convenience stores.) A handful is about 150 calories and will keep you busy chewing something sweet, flavorful, and satisfying for twice the time it takes to down a bag of M&Ms.

Frozen Juice Bar
Unwrap a frozen juice bar and you can practically hear the ice cream truck rounding the corner of your cul-de-sac. "They're sweet and tangy, and anything frozen takes longer to eat," Gidus says. "They're just afew calories, and they've even got some vitamins."

Soy Chips

If edamame had a tryst with orange-dusted nachos, the result would look a lot like soy chips — a high-fiber, low-fat snack that's a significant source of soy protein. And soy protein, according to a recent study in the International Journal of Obesity, not only helps facilitate weight loss, but also helps ensure that the weight lost is fat rather than muscle. The isoflavones in soy act like estrogen and inhibit the enzyme that facilitates fat deposits, according to Paul Cooke, Ph.D., a soy researcher at the University of Illinois.

A pack of soy chips racks up as many as 7 g of soy protein in about 100 calories, which leaves room for a 1/4 cup of Guiltless Gourmet bean dip. The dip adds 60 calories and another 4 g each of fiber and protein.

Gum
Before you reach for a snack — even one on this list — ask yourself if you're really hungry. If you're not or you're not sure, reach for a stick of gum.

James Levine, M.D., of the Mayo Clinic has measured the energy burned by chewing and found that just moving your jaw up and down can burn some 11 extra calories per hour, which is a boost of about 19 percent over your just-sitting-there level. Now, 11 calories may not sound like much, but that's about a pound a year for every hour per day that you chew. And that doesn't count the calorie savings from the snacks you're not eating.

Read more:http://www.womenshealthmag.com/

5 Surprisingly Healthy Fruits and Veggies You Aren't Eating

Purple Potatoes Even though low-carb diets are no longer the rage, potatoes still have a bad reputation for wrecking diets. Brand new research from the University of Scranton in Pennsylvania comes to a different conclusion, at least about the purple variety. A study followed 18 overweight and obese people who also had high blood pressure. Participants were asked to either eat six to eight golf ball-sized purple potatoes for lunch and dinner, or stick to a potato-free diet. After a month, participants switched diet routines. Participants who ate potatoes saw a significant drop in their high blood pressure—diastolic pressure fell an average 4.3 percent while systolic blood pressure dropped an average 3.5 percent.

Lychees

This sweet white fruit is popular in Asia, but with its big health benefits, it should make its way into your cart, too. According to a 2006 study in the Journal of Nutrition, lychee has the second-highest level of heart-healthy polyphenols of 24 fruits tested. They were beat only by strawberries, and the study found they had nearly 15% more disease-preventing polyphenols than grapes. Lychee's powerful antioxidants may also help to prevent the formation of breast cancer cells, according to a recent test-tube and animal study from Sichuan University in China.

Guava

Eat just one cup of this South American fruit, and you're getting 5 times as much vitamin C as a medium orange (377 mg versus 83 mg). Like other red fruits, including tomatoes and watermelon, guava contains lycopene, which may help prevent heart disease. And according to research by microbiologists in Bangladesh, guava can even protect against foodborne pathogens such as Listeria and staph.

The Center for Science in the Public Interest released a report in June 2011 comparing the nutritional info of 50 popular fruits. They ranked them based on the percentages of certain nutrients—fiber, vitamin C, potassium, folate, iron, calcium, and antioxidant-packed pigments called carotenoids–in each serving. Guava beat out apples, bananas, and grapes to be the number one fruit.

Bok Choy

This leafy green cabbage is the number one veggie in China and boasts 10 times the recommended amount of vitamin A in just one cup. Packed with antioxidants, it's no surprise that several studies show that high intake of Brassica vegetables (a family of vegetables including kale, broccoli, and bok choy) may reduce the risk of certain cancers, including prostate cancer.

Asian Pears

Snack on one large Asian pear, and you'll get 10 g of fiber, nearly half of your daily recommended amount. So what's so great about fiber? Not only does it lower cholesterol, but it also keeps you full longer and helps to control blood sugar levels.

Read more:

http://health.yahoo.net/rodaleSlideshow/PV/5-surprisingly-healthy-fruits-and-veggies-you-aren-t-eating#0

5 Mistakes You're Making With Your Scrambled Eggs

1. "Don't be wimpy with your eggs. Whisk well and be vigorous about it--you want to add air and volume for fluffy eggs. And whisk the eggs right before adding to pan; don't whisk and let mixture sit (it deflates)." --Kay Chun, Deputy Food Editor

2. "Don't add milk, cream, or water to the eggs. People think it will keep the eggs creamy while cooking, but in fact, the eggs and added liquid will separate during the cooking process creating wet, overcooked eggs. Stir in some creme fraiche after the eggs are off the heat if you want them creamy." --Mary-Frances Heck, Associate Food Editor

3. "Don't use high heat. It's all about patience to achieve the soft curd. Whether you want small curd (stirring often) or large curd (stirring less), you need to scramble eggs over medium-low heat, pulling the pan off the heat if it gets too hot, until they set to desired doneness." --Hunter Lewis, Food Editor

4. "Don't overcook them! Take them off the heat a little while before you think they are done. The carryover heat will keep cooking them for a minute or so. Also: Use a cast-iron or a nonstick skillet. If you don't, there will be a rotten clean-up job in your future." --Janet McCracken, Deputy Food Editor

And last but not least, ditch that fork! Scramble your eggs with a heat-proof spatula, a flat-topped wooden spoon, or for the perfect curd, chopsticks.

Read more:http://shine.yahoo.com/blog/PNRPVFEO25WJEVWFWZJJS3FMZI/

Underarms are fashion's new erogenous zone

It seems there is a new - and rather more unsightly - body part slowly taking over as the most popular erogenous zone.
The fashion industry has become rather taken with underarms, showing them off at every opportunity on the cover of several high-end magazines.

Twilight star Ashley Greene stars on the December issue of FLARE, left, and model Aymeline Valade poss for the January cover of Vogue Japan

Models and actresses not only have to worry about complexion, hair and nails, they now have to ensure their armpits are flawless too.
But whatever they miss, the airbrush will surely catch, as the area appears unnaturally smooth in editorials for Elle, Vogue and Harper's Bazaar among others.

Most recently, Twilight star Ashley Greene posed for the cover of Flare magazine showing hers off with pride - without so much as a blemish or a shade.

Elbow room: Victoria Beckham, James Franco and Gisele show their underarms off with pride

Slowly catching on: The trend began last year with stars including Eva Mendes, Anne Hathaway and Megan Fox

Read more:http://www.mailonsunday.co.uk/femail/article-2053307/Isnt-new-trend-pits-Underarms-new-erogenous-zone--seen-cover-girls-everywhere.html